Out-of-Context Christmas Song Lyrics

We know these songs well. So well, in fact, we probably don’t pay too much attention to what the lyrics actually say. Which, to me, seemed like something worthy of exploration. When considered independently of their song’s context, the lyrics to our standard canon of Christmas songs range from hilarious to creepy to risqué.

• “Man, your lips look so delicious.”
• “There’s lots of room for him in our two-car garage”
• “Whoop-dee-do and dickory-dock”
• “I don’t want to miss out on the holiday, but I can’t stop staring at your face.”
• “Reindeer cannot climb the hills of Italy.”
• “Logs on the fire fill me with desire.”
• “Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum”
• “Christmas comes this time each year.”
• “Myrrh is mine: it’s bitter perfume
  Breathes a life of gathering gloom.
  Sorrowing, sighing, bleeding dying,
  Sealed in the stone-cold tomb.”
• “Bring us out a moldy cheese and some of your Christmas loaf.”
• “Make it worth your while baby. Ahh, do that again…”